Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
