My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Who died my cat blue again?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
