fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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