So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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