what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
