i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
