my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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