KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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