I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
