well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
