I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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