We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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