Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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