also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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