I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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