god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
