She's JV to your varsity
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
