Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
