I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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