Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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