Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
