i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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