the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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