Midget sex pt 2 tonight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
