I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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