I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
