just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
