he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
