What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
