I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
