You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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