ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
