Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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