Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
