If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Michael Bay diarrhea
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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