In the future we'll all be gay
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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