somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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