You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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