If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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