filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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