It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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