apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
