If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
