I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
