So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize