Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
