..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
