So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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