What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
