So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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