Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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