please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
