I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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