Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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