the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
