You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
