and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
