If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
