No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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