Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
