There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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