the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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