I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
