I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
