You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize