She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ugly people sure do ruin things
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
