Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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