I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
