Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
