So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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