i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
