Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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