North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
