finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
