drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
